My night has been great and heart-wrenching...
First, it was great because I got to spend some quality time alone with my dad, but it was only because we drove my car down to my grandmother's house so that he can catch a flight tomorrow morning to get back to DC. But then again, any personal chat time is a good thing with him, because I have an easier time talking with him when we're just one on one.
Then, I had to leave him and drive home alone... NOT fun! I HATE driving the 405 at night!
After that, when I got home, I sat down and watched the season 2 finalé of True Blood. And what a finalé it was! I LOVED the episode for the most part, but HATED the ending! It was so completely heart-wrenching that I still have tears in my eyes from it! (However, I'm not going to spoil the ending here.) Let's just say that it makes an EXCELLENT cliff-hanger leading to season 3, but at the same time I just didn't want it to happen like that, and I'm sure that my theory about who the "bad guys" are for season 3 will end up being proven true.
My theory... Well, let's just say it involves a certain vampire calling on another to kidnap another vampire and torture said vampire...
Either way, I think I'm not gonna sleep until I rewrite the ending of that episode to the ending I want, then I'll go to bed... Yeah, I'm actually that depressed by the ending! Is that pathetic?
Showing posts with label Frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frustration. Show all posts
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Day One on the Wii Fit...
Ok, today starts a new part of my life... My seriously taking on the challenge to slim down a little bit... So I started today on Wii Fit...
Let's just say it didn't quite go as planned, and made me pretty upset. First off, you always get weighed, and your BMI is measured... Let's just say that neither was what I expected... It was higher! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Well, I tried it out, and I did eventually get 30 minutes of exercise done. Hell, my sister even got me to RUN! If you know me, you know that running and I are NOT friends. But somehow, I managed to get it done! Five minutes of jogging! I'm impressed by myself!
After that, I cooled down by playing the hula-hooping game! SOOOO much fun!
Well, I expect after all that, I'll be tired tomorrow, so I think I may wait a day or three before I do it again.
Let's just say it didn't quite go as planned, and made me pretty upset. First off, you always get weighed, and your BMI is measured... Let's just say that neither was what I expected... It was higher! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Well, I tried it out, and I did eventually get 30 minutes of exercise done. Hell, my sister even got me to RUN! If you know me, you know that running and I are NOT friends. But somehow, I managed to get it done! Five minutes of jogging! I'm impressed by myself!
After that, I cooled down by playing the hula-hooping game! SOOOO much fun!
Well, I expect after all that, I'll be tired tomorrow, so I think I may wait a day or three before I do it again.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I Dreamed A Dream...
I just woke up, and I remember having the most awesome dream last night!
In it, my home was part of some sort of hotel, and Hugh Jackman and his awesome wife Deborrah-lee Furness were staying there! I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but somehow I knew they were there, and I actively searched them both out.
I found Deborrah-lee first. I called her over, and I started telling her about how big a fan I was of both hers and Hugh's. She responded very politely, and we discussed some of her work. I remember directly telling her how much I loved her short film "Standing Room Only" and her shock when she realized I'd seen it, as well as a large grin on her face when I blushed, looked down and mumbled that I'd seen almost everything Hugh had ever done.
Right before my conversation with Deborrah-lee ended, she sat down on the side of my bed (somehow we were in my room), leaned over me, then kissed my forehead. It was a motherly gesture, and a very comforting and much appreciated one.
Well, now that I'd found her and KNEW she was there, I figured Hugh had to be there as well, so I stared searching for him. At first, I didn't find him. It was highly disappointing, and reminded me of a conversation I held with a friend a long time ago about how if you see one celebrity you like, you're probably not gonna see another one unless you're on a movie or film set or something.
However, that happily did not turn out to be the case in my dream. Instead, I heard him talking with someone, so I ran in the direction of his voice. He was in another room, the door wide open. I knocked on it and was given permission to enter.
From there, a very long, wonderful conversation was started. It began with me introducing myself, and telling Hugh was a huge fan of his I was. He smiled back and told me how nice it was to have fans like me. All the basic polite chitchat led to us discussing characters he'd played, what he thought of them, etc. The part I remember most from the conversation that was in the room was me asking him about Wolverine as he was in X-Men and X2: X-Men United, and the relationship with Rogue. I specifically asked him how Wolverine REALLY felt about Rogue, and his response, as I remember it was:
"I think Wolverine loves Rogue. She's the first character within the movie series to make him feel like he's worth something, not just a loner and brawler. He actively checks up on her in the first film, worried about the companion who in only a few moments made him care about someone besides himself. After all, remember how desperate Logan was to save Rogue at the Statue of Liberty..."
I ended up cutting Hugh's comment off to ask him what he thought about a Wolverine/Rogue relationship that included being a couple. Hugh made a comment about liking the idea, and thinking it would be cool to work with Anna Paquin again, but I don't remember anything else from his response.
Then, Hugh turned the conversation around on me, and started asking me questions about my goals, what I wanted to accomplish, etc. I remember specifically telling him that my major goal in life was to become an Oscar-winning Screenwriter and Director, and someday a mother.
Hugh responded by telling me a highly clichéd line: "Don't give up on your goals, and someday you'll get there."
I think I raised my eyebrow at him before continuing my response about how I'd love to have him in a movie of mine someday, possibly playing a young grandfather or a father with 20-something kids and teenagers. This ended up with Hugh giving me a giant bear hug! (And boy did that feel great!)
All during this time, Hugh and I were walking along, and somehow we ended up on a train together, still talking, with Deborra-lee a few rows behind us, rolling her eyes at our conversation and laughing lightly.
The conversation on the train turned towards Hugh once more. I asked him about the lunch he had with Miley Cyrus about some movie that they were supposed to costar in. I asked Hugh why he would risk his career like that.
I didn't get a response about the career risk, but I did get a response about the Miley issue. Hugh said that it had only been an idea, and he wasn't going to do the movie with her (and then grinned as I sighed in relief).
Unfortunately, I don't remember any more of the conversation I held with Hugh, but I remember that my stop on the train had come up, and Hugh and Deborra-lee BOTH hugged me goodbye and said that they hoped to see me around New York again, which means that I must have been somewhere in New York, though I don't know exactly where. (The area around me was completely new to me, even though I've been to New York many times before...)
The last thing I remember from my dream is seeing Hugh and Deborra-lee waving to me from the train as it continued on its way out of the station.
Quite the interesting dream, huh? I wonder what it means for me in the long run, as I believe dreams have deeper meanings than just what we see and remember in them. Of course, that's nothing to say of the frustration when I woke up and realized my dream wasn't real... Let me know what you think of this! I'd love to hear some opinions on the meanings of the dream!
In it, my home was part of some sort of hotel, and Hugh Jackman and his awesome wife Deborrah-lee Furness were staying there! I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but somehow I knew they were there, and I actively searched them both out.
I found Deborrah-lee first. I called her over, and I started telling her about how big a fan I was of both hers and Hugh's. She responded very politely, and we discussed some of her work. I remember directly telling her how much I loved her short film "Standing Room Only" and her shock when she realized I'd seen it, as well as a large grin on her face when I blushed, looked down and mumbled that I'd seen almost everything Hugh had ever done.
Right before my conversation with Deborrah-lee ended, she sat down on the side of my bed (somehow we were in my room), leaned over me, then kissed my forehead. It was a motherly gesture, and a very comforting and much appreciated one.
Well, now that I'd found her and KNEW she was there, I figured Hugh had to be there as well, so I stared searching for him. At first, I didn't find him. It was highly disappointing, and reminded me of a conversation I held with a friend a long time ago about how if you see one celebrity you like, you're probably not gonna see another one unless you're on a movie or film set or something.
However, that happily did not turn out to be the case in my dream. Instead, I heard him talking with someone, so I ran in the direction of his voice. He was in another room, the door wide open. I knocked on it and was given permission to enter.
From there, a very long, wonderful conversation was started. It began with me introducing myself, and telling Hugh was a huge fan of his I was. He smiled back and told me how nice it was to have fans like me. All the basic polite chitchat led to us discussing characters he'd played, what he thought of them, etc. The part I remember most from the conversation that was in the room was me asking him about Wolverine as he was in X-Men and X2: X-Men United, and the relationship with Rogue. I specifically asked him how Wolverine REALLY felt about Rogue, and his response, as I remember it was:
"I think Wolverine loves Rogue. She's the first character within the movie series to make him feel like he's worth something, not just a loner and brawler. He actively checks up on her in the first film, worried about the companion who in only a few moments made him care about someone besides himself. After all, remember how desperate Logan was to save Rogue at the Statue of Liberty..."
I ended up cutting Hugh's comment off to ask him what he thought about a Wolverine/Rogue relationship that included being a couple. Hugh made a comment about liking the idea, and thinking it would be cool to work with Anna Paquin again, but I don't remember anything else from his response.
Then, Hugh turned the conversation around on me, and started asking me questions about my goals, what I wanted to accomplish, etc. I remember specifically telling him that my major goal in life was to become an Oscar-winning Screenwriter and Director, and someday a mother.
Hugh responded by telling me a highly clichéd line: "Don't give up on your goals, and someday you'll get there."
I think I raised my eyebrow at him before continuing my response about how I'd love to have him in a movie of mine someday, possibly playing a young grandfather or a father with 20-something kids and teenagers. This ended up with Hugh giving me a giant bear hug! (And boy did that feel great!)
All during this time, Hugh and I were walking along, and somehow we ended up on a train together, still talking, with Deborra-lee a few rows behind us, rolling her eyes at our conversation and laughing lightly.
The conversation on the train turned towards Hugh once more. I asked him about the lunch he had with Miley Cyrus about some movie that they were supposed to costar in. I asked Hugh why he would risk his career like that.
I didn't get a response about the career risk, but I did get a response about the Miley issue. Hugh said that it had only been an idea, and he wasn't going to do the movie with her (and then grinned as I sighed in relief).
Unfortunately, I don't remember any more of the conversation I held with Hugh, but I remember that my stop on the train had come up, and Hugh and Deborra-lee BOTH hugged me goodbye and said that they hoped to see me around New York again, which means that I must have been somewhere in New York, though I don't know exactly where. (The area around me was completely new to me, even though I've been to New York many times before...)
The last thing I remember from my dream is seeing Hugh and Deborra-lee waving to me from the train as it continued on its way out of the station.
Quite the interesting dream, huh? I wonder what it means for me in the long run, as I believe dreams have deeper meanings than just what we see and remember in them. Of course, that's nothing to say of the frustration when I woke up and realized my dream wasn't real... Let me know what you think of this! I'd love to hear some opinions on the meanings of the dream!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Scary Future of the United States...
It's obvious. Many people just don't care about politics, and the country they live in. This is especially true in the current political environment in the United States. The largest group that NEEDS to get with the picture is people my own age, the current youngest voting bloc. Most people I know from school did not vote in last year's presidential election. In fact, some of these people, who have been able to vote for years BOAST about how they've NEVER voted before! That's really disgraceful, especially since these people are the ones who are most frequently found bitching about whatever they hear "reporters" tell them about what's going on with things like health care, town hall meetings, the stimulus package... Anything they can think of. And then, they become the "dittoheads" we as a country should NOT listen to! They have nothing to add to conversation, and the only information they have is talking points that have been hand-fed to them.
It's scary. VERY scary. I mean, even I've tried to keep my mouth shut about this, but reaction to my proclamation to my friends the other day about the death of Ted Kennedy was met with blank stares, and questions of "who's that?" THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICANS! They have NO freakin' clue as to what's going on politically, and they don't care! It's one thing to not know who Ray Bradbury is (and that is another issue I have with these same people), but to know NOTHING about the current political state of affairs and then just repeat what you hear with no evidence to back your statements up is just WRONG!!!
HOW can America as a country prosper and get back to her older strength if the masses are uninformed? It just doesn't work!
It's scary. VERY scary. I mean, even I've tried to keep my mouth shut about this, but reaction to my proclamation to my friends the other day about the death of Ted Kennedy was met with blank stares, and questions of "who's that?" THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICANS! They have NO freakin' clue as to what's going on politically, and they don't care! It's one thing to not know who Ray Bradbury is (and that is another issue I have with these same people), but to know NOTHING about the current political state of affairs and then just repeat what you hear with no evidence to back your statements up is just WRONG!!!
HOW can America as a country prosper and get back to her older strength if the masses are uninformed? It just doesn't work!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Comic-Con: Preview Night (Wednesday Edition)
WELCOME TO COMIC-CON INTERNATIONAL!
Yes, today was Preview Night, and it was NOT what I expected in the least! First, it was INSANELY BUSY! There were SO many people there, it was almost impossible to walk! I luckily didn't have to work my volunteer hours on Preview Night, so that was good. However, I did sign in and set up for my hours of work for Thursday. After that, what do you think the first thing I did was?
That's right! I went over to booth 1220, where Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter® booth was located, and immediately saw my Akri there, along with Evyl Ed and Kim. I'd never met Ed or Kim before, and it was a pleasure to meet the two of them! Ed has an awesome accent, and it made me smile as I spoke with him. Kim was just a joy to be around. She has such a positive attitude! It's like being around Sherri. Regardless of how you feel, your spirits are going to rise being around Sherri and Kim!
I also ran into several old friends from previous Sherri signings, and that was just awesome. I'd forgotten how much I missed my fellow minions! It was great seeing them, and I'll enjoy seeing them all more throughout Con!
Yes, today was Preview Night, and it was NOT what I expected in the least! First, it was INSANELY BUSY! There were SO many people there, it was almost impossible to walk! I luckily didn't have to work my volunteer hours on Preview Night, so that was good. However, I did sign in and set up for my hours of work for Thursday. After that, what do you think the first thing I did was?
That's right! I went over to booth 1220, where Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark-Hunter® booth was located, and immediately saw my Akri there, along with Evyl Ed and Kim. I'd never met Ed or Kim before, and it was a pleasure to meet the two of them! Ed has an awesome accent, and it made me smile as I spoke with him. Kim was just a joy to be around. She has such a positive attitude! It's like being around Sherri. Regardless of how you feel, your spirits are going to rise being around Sherri and Kim!
I also ran into several old friends from previous Sherri signings, and that was just awesome. I'd forgotten how much I missed my fellow minions! It was great seeing them, and I'll enjoy seeing them all more throughout Con!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Andy
Hey guys, this one is really personal to me, and it is something that's completely true to me. If you're uncomfortable with a blog post that mentions sex, this would be a good post to ignore...
I can't stand it. I can't stand thinking about Andy and missing him and realizing that when I fantasize about sex, I see him moving over me, in me, around me, love shining at me through his dark sensual eyes. I haven't seen him nor talked to him in years, and I still miss the relationship I had with my former best friend. Andy was the best I had, and then I lost him, and lost a part of me. I want him back in my life with a desperation that I know nowhere else in me.
There isn't a day that passes when I don't think about him, even if only for a brief second.
At this point, he's been gone from my life so long that I'm kind of numb thinking about him, but then I walk by something or see something that reminds me of him, and I'm no longer numb. My chest burns in pain, and I wish desperately again to see him, hang out like we used to…
I'll always remember watching The 10th Kingdom with him, him laying on the couch, me laying on his chest, just relaxing together, smiling, and enjoying some quality escapism on the laptop screen in front of us.
I remember that he fell asleep under me once, missed at least half an hour of the movie, and while he slept, his arm came down and wrapped around my waist. I wish now that I'd had the foresight to ask my mom or dad to take a picture of us like that. It would be a comfort for me now.
However, I just can't forget that he chose his girlfriend over me. I understand that there's a distinction between a man's best friend and his girlfriend, especially when he's a year older than his best friend. But, from what I do recall of our relationship, he'd been telling me he loved me for a couple months, and I to this day believe he meant it as nothing more than a close friendship type of love. I'd even gotten so comfortable that I'd tell him I loved him back. Then, a couple months after this started, he stopped calling and asking to hang out. I'd call him instead, and he was never home (granted, he IS a year older, and was already at CSUN, but still…), so he never really had time to visit. But, when he was home on weekends visiting, he didn't have time for me either.
I think the moment I realized that the close friendship we'd cultivated and shared for so many years was over was when I was at a bar or bat mitzvah, miserable out of my mind. I called him, and he picked up the phone. When I told him I missed him, and wanted to see him soon, there was hesitation on his side of the line. There was a long pause before he told me he missed me too, but he had to go. That was the breaking point. When my family left that damned bar or bat mitzvah, I was struggling to keep my composure. I'm still not sure how I lasted until I got home before crying.
I think he broke me that day. It's years later, and I still can find guys attractive, but none have really made me stand up and take notice. I can't feel more than friendship for them, and I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone for the rest of my life.
I just want to hug and cuddle Andy one more time. He was my friend, my protector, and in many non-physical ways, the love of my life. I just hope he wasn't my soul mate. That would just kill me now, since if I ever really saw him again, I don't think I'd be able to talk to him without trying to hurt him the way he's hurt me.
Strangely enough, I don't think he realized or cared about how much he hurt me.
I can't stand it. I can't stand thinking about Andy and missing him and realizing that when I fantasize about sex, I see him moving over me, in me, around me, love shining at me through his dark sensual eyes. I haven't seen him nor talked to him in years, and I still miss the relationship I had with my former best friend. Andy was the best I had, and then I lost him, and lost a part of me. I want him back in my life with a desperation that I know nowhere else in me.
There isn't a day that passes when I don't think about him, even if only for a brief second.
At this point, he's been gone from my life so long that I'm kind of numb thinking about him, but then I walk by something or see something that reminds me of him, and I'm no longer numb. My chest burns in pain, and I wish desperately again to see him, hang out like we used to…
I'll always remember watching The 10th Kingdom with him, him laying on the couch, me laying on his chest, just relaxing together, smiling, and enjoying some quality escapism on the laptop screen in front of us.
I remember that he fell asleep under me once, missed at least half an hour of the movie, and while he slept, his arm came down and wrapped around my waist. I wish now that I'd had the foresight to ask my mom or dad to take a picture of us like that. It would be a comfort for me now.
However, I just can't forget that he chose his girlfriend over me. I understand that there's a distinction between a man's best friend and his girlfriend, especially when he's a year older than his best friend. But, from what I do recall of our relationship, he'd been telling me he loved me for a couple months, and I to this day believe he meant it as nothing more than a close friendship type of love. I'd even gotten so comfortable that I'd tell him I loved him back. Then, a couple months after this started, he stopped calling and asking to hang out. I'd call him instead, and he was never home (granted, he IS a year older, and was already at CSUN, but still…), so he never really had time to visit. But, when he was home on weekends visiting, he didn't have time for me either.
I think the moment I realized that the close friendship we'd cultivated and shared for so many years was over was when I was at a bar or bat mitzvah, miserable out of my mind. I called him, and he picked up the phone. When I told him I missed him, and wanted to see him soon, there was hesitation on his side of the line. There was a long pause before he told me he missed me too, but he had to go. That was the breaking point. When my family left that damned bar or bat mitzvah, I was struggling to keep my composure. I'm still not sure how I lasted until I got home before crying.
I think he broke me that day. It's years later, and I still can find guys attractive, but none have really made me stand up and take notice. I can't feel more than friendship for them, and I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone for the rest of my life.
I just want to hug and cuddle Andy one more time. He was my friend, my protector, and in many non-physical ways, the love of my life. I just hope he wasn't my soul mate. That would just kill me now, since if I ever really saw him again, I don't think I'd be able to talk to him without trying to hurt him the way he's hurt me.
Strangely enough, I don't think he realized or cared about how much he hurt me.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A Pretty Example of EXTREME HATRED!
Twitter is an excellent way to realize just how much of the world is ignorant to one of the best, most honest and pure ideals:
ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL!
It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, transgendered, or anything else, everyone should have exactly equal rights, especially in the "good 'ole U S of A." Well, unfortunately, that isn't true... YET!
I have been closely following the disgraceful story of Carrie Prejean, the woman who apparently "represents" the state of California as Ms. California.
She's gotten more than her 15 minutes of fame already. In fact, I'd say it's time the tables turned on her hatred, and that of her loyal raving followers, who think she's the best thing since sliced bread.
I despise this woman, based upon her "Christian" morals alone. HOW is it okay for her to bash the rights of AMERICAN CITIZENS? They pay taxes, just like everyone (okay, mostly everyone) else, have jobs, help stimulate the economy... You get the gist of what I'm saying. To me, and many others who agree with my opinions, her willingness to let an approximately 2,000 year old FAIRY TALE dictate her life, and make her decide that gay men and women can't marry the people they love... It's complete ludicrous!
Anyways, I was on Twitter, and I did a search to see what was being said about her. I found this post:
I was insulted to say the least. So I responded with two posts of my own:
And THIS was the response I got to those messages (read these from the bottom post up):
HOW FREAKIN' REDICULOUS IS THAT? WHAT AN UNINFORMED POOP! Also, notice that he didn't touch the question I asked him...
Oh! And I was told by a friend that this ass continued his rant, then acted paranoid. Here's what he said...
Doesn't sound very stable, especially after that last post, does he?
UPDATE:
AT this point in time, I'd also like to point out the hypocrisy that Ms. Prejean is representing in having lied to the pageant in her contract in which she lied about having taken any nude or semi-nude photos at any time in the past... Would a "good Christian girl" even be showing her body off like that, especially if she was 17 when the pictures were taken like she claimed? Or better yet, would a "good Christian girl" get breast implants?
On top of that, I've been on many different websites, which both show or don't show the pictures, and I've been reading the comments on them. It's amazing how those of us who believe that she should lose the crown are called derogatory names for our beliefs... Regardless of the fact that they're not based upon the comment she made in the pageant, but instead on her breaking her contract, which is available on the Fox News website HERE... Take a look at that, and then tell me if you think she broke her contract or not...
ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL!
It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, transgendered, or anything else, everyone should have exactly equal rights, especially in the "good 'ole U S of A." Well, unfortunately, that isn't true... YET!
I have been closely following the disgraceful story of Carrie Prejean, the woman who apparently "represents" the state of California as Ms. California.
She's gotten more than her 15 minutes of fame already. In fact, I'd say it's time the tables turned on her hatred, and that of her loyal raving followers, who think she's the best thing since sliced bread.
I despise this woman, based upon her "Christian" morals alone. HOW is it okay for her to bash the rights of AMERICAN CITIZENS? They pay taxes, just like everyone (okay, mostly everyone) else, have jobs, help stimulate the economy... You get the gist of what I'm saying. To me, and many others who agree with my opinions, her willingness to let an approximately 2,000 year old FAIRY TALE dictate her life, and make her decide that gay men and women can't marry the people they love... It's complete ludicrous!
Anyways, I was on Twitter, and I did a search to see what was being said about her. I found this post:
I was insulted to say the least. So I responded with two posts of my own:
And THIS was the response I got to those messages (read these from the bottom post up):
HOW FREAKIN' REDICULOUS IS THAT? WHAT AN UNINFORMED POOP! Also, notice that he didn't touch the question I asked him...
Oh! And I was told by a friend that this ass continued his rant, then acted paranoid. Here's what he said...
Doesn't sound very stable, especially after that last post, does he?
UPDATE:
AT this point in time, I'd also like to point out the hypocrisy that Ms. Prejean is representing in having lied to the pageant in her contract in which she lied about having taken any nude or semi-nude photos at any time in the past... Would a "good Christian girl" even be showing her body off like that, especially if she was 17 when the pictures were taken like she claimed? Or better yet, would a "good Christian girl" get breast implants?
On top of that, I've been on many different websites, which both show or don't show the pictures, and I've been reading the comments on them. It's amazing how those of us who believe that she should lose the crown are called derogatory names for our beliefs... Regardless of the fact that they're not based upon the comment she made in the pageant, but instead on her breaking her contract, which is available on the Fox News website HERE... Take a look at that, and then tell me if you think she broke her contract or not...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
My Heart Broke A Little Yesterday
I'm going to start off by assuming that most people know what Republican Representative Virginia Foxx of North Carolina said on the floor yesterday. If you don't, then go HERE to get a brief idea of what happened.
Having heard this, I am forced to wonder: WHY do people continue to believe BS like this? It's horrendous and stupefying!
EDIT: When I'm not so upset by this, I'll try to post more.
Having heard this, I am forced to wonder: WHY do people continue to believe BS like this? It's horrendous and stupefying!
EDIT: When I'm not so upset by this, I'll try to post more.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Damn! When I'm Depressed, I'm Seriously Depressed!
Ok, first things first: I DO NOT currently feel at all like the post below. I just found this on my computer, and realized that I basically wrote two different things about the same incident, which is a few posts below this one - YES, the one about my being depressed over Hugh Jackman... The one called Realizations.
I was REALLY upset, and probably part of it was because I was punchy. I typed up a rough draft, then saved and ignored it. The below text is what I originally wrote about that incident.
Also, please note that this is out of date, as tomorrow HJ will be in Los Angeles, getting his star on the Walk of Fame (it's open to the public, and I can't even freakin' go - Damned school!) He hasn't been in Australia for quite a while now.
Again: DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! I'M FINE! I'M HAPPY! THIS IS OLD!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I have sufficiently broken down enough to write something.
Realization's a bitch. Yes, a large cliché, but still the truth. When I woke up yesterday, I was still the same shallow dreamer as pretty much every other person on the planet. I still dreamed of meeting my celebrity idols, and having them respect me as much as I respect and admire them.
I was wrong. Simple as that. No celebrity gives a fuck, especially since they have their own lives to lead, regardless of how many fans they have or how much success those fans bring them.
I think I really realized this when I was on Twitter earlier. Hugh Jackman is my favorite actor, and I check his Twitter several times a day. The latest thing he posted was a picture of himself and a fan who had created his own set of Wolverine claws. I know that he's currently in Australia, promoting the hell out of Wolverine, but somehow, just looking at that picture, I realized that the fantasy was broken.
I knew as I tormented myself by staring for long minutes at that picture that I would NEVER be that fan, smiling and happy in the picture with a celebrity that I idolize. I'm just one of the millions, deceiving myself into believing that I COULD be that person. Doesn't mean it's ever gonna happen, but that's exactly what delusions are.
I think many of my favorite book characters have it right: Life's a bitch and then you die.
I was REALLY upset, and probably part of it was because I was punchy. I typed up a rough draft, then saved and ignored it. The below text is what I originally wrote about that incident.
Also, please note that this is out of date, as tomorrow HJ will be in Los Angeles, getting his star on the Walk of Fame (it's open to the public, and I can't even freakin' go - Damned school!) He hasn't been in Australia for quite a while now.
Again: DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! I'M FINE! I'M HAPPY! THIS IS OLD!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think I have sufficiently broken down enough to write something.
Realization's a bitch. Yes, a large cliché, but still the truth. When I woke up yesterday, I was still the same shallow dreamer as pretty much every other person on the planet. I still dreamed of meeting my celebrity idols, and having them respect me as much as I respect and admire them.
I was wrong. Simple as that. No celebrity gives a fuck, especially since they have their own lives to lead, regardless of how many fans they have or how much success those fans bring them.
I think I really realized this when I was on Twitter earlier. Hugh Jackman is my favorite actor, and I check his Twitter several times a day. The latest thing he posted was a picture of himself and a fan who had created his own set of Wolverine claws. I know that he's currently in Australia, promoting the hell out of Wolverine, but somehow, just looking at that picture, I realized that the fantasy was broken.
I knew as I tormented myself by staring for long minutes at that picture that I would NEVER be that fan, smiling and happy in the picture with a celebrity that I idolize. I'm just one of the millions, deceiving myself into believing that I COULD be that person. Doesn't mean it's ever gonna happen, but that's exactly what delusions are.
I think many of my favorite book characters have it right: Life's a bitch and then you die.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Evidence that I'm a Serious Kenyon Minion...
Ok, I'm a college student. I just want to make sure you understand that before you read this...
Well, one of my classes is History of the Middle East. Now, I LOVE this class. It deals with ancient cultures that I care about, and love studying. So what happened earlier today is more than slightly embarrassing and funny to me...
Basically, we were discussing the Ancient Persians and the Ancient Greeks fighting over land in class today. Somehow, we got slightly off topic, and began discussion various Greek city-states, like Sparta and Macedonia and Thrace. Well, I was not entirely paying attention (I was actually on the Dark-Hunter BBS©), and I spoke out of context as we discussed the city states. What did I say? Well, I asked about Julian and Prince Kyrian, respectively from Sparta and Thrace. Now, I instantly realized my blunder, as my teacher (who actually looks like he could be a Greek demi-god) looked at me and said in a very dry, and rather sarcastic tone, "I don't have a clue who you're talking about, maybe you'd like to inform the class about these people you've mentioned?"
Well, I blushed and sank down in my seat, before glaring at my computer screen and trying to forget that I was screwing around instead of paying attention... And you'd think the story ended here...
Not 15 minutes after the first disruption I caused in class, we were beginning to talk about how next week, we move on to Alexander the Great, and his building of his army. THIS time, I muttered (and I swear it was under my breath), "Acheron should be mentioned too!"
Well, I sit in the front of the room. The teacher heard me again... Only he knew who Acheron was (I've discussed Sherri's books with him before), and this time, he looked at me and practically growled, "Your obsession with Acheron and his friends MAY help you study for this class, but that still doesn't mean they're real!"
And, to make it worse, I heard snickers from the back of the classroom. I assumed from how they sounded that someone else knew EXACTLY what I was talking about...
Now why couldn't THEY have been the one to do all this? I just made myself the laughingstock of my favorite class!
I hope everyone forgets by Monday!
Well, one of my classes is History of the Middle East. Now, I LOVE this class. It deals with ancient cultures that I care about, and love studying. So what happened earlier today is more than slightly embarrassing and funny to me...
Basically, we were discussing the Ancient Persians and the Ancient Greeks fighting over land in class today. Somehow, we got slightly off topic, and began discussion various Greek city-states, like Sparta and Macedonia and Thrace. Well, I was not entirely paying attention (I was actually on the Dark-Hunter BBS©), and I spoke out of context as we discussed the city states. What did I say? Well, I asked about Julian and Prince Kyrian, respectively from Sparta and Thrace. Now, I instantly realized my blunder, as my teacher (who actually looks like he could be a Greek demi-god) looked at me and said in a very dry, and rather sarcastic tone, "I don't have a clue who you're talking about, maybe you'd like to inform the class about these people you've mentioned?"
Well, I blushed and sank down in my seat, before glaring at my computer screen and trying to forget that I was screwing around instead of paying attention... And you'd think the story ended here...
Not 15 minutes after the first disruption I caused in class, we were beginning to talk about how next week, we move on to Alexander the Great, and his building of his army. THIS time, I muttered (and I swear it was under my breath), "Acheron should be mentioned too!"
Well, I sit in the front of the room. The teacher heard me again... Only he knew who Acheron was (I've discussed Sherri's books with him before), and this time, he looked at me and practically growled, "Your obsession with Acheron and his friends MAY help you study for this class, but that still doesn't mean they're real!"
And, to make it worse, I heard snickers from the back of the classroom. I assumed from how they sounded that someone else knew EXACTLY what I was talking about...
Now why couldn't THEY have been the one to do all this? I just made myself the laughingstock of my favorite class!
I hope everyone forgets by Monday!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Stress...
My life is not easy. Growing up isn't easy either.
This is an honest account, and I'm living it right now.
Today is Thursday, March 19, 2009. It has now been several months since I've started on my journey to plan my entire summer by myself for the first time in my life. Guess what? Life sucks. My summer plans, so far, have all failed. Miserably.
My plan, for a couple years now, has been to visit Israel. And I'm lucky enough that I have the ability to get a trip that would be mostly paid for. However, it's a lot of work to get that whole experience going, especially in light of the recent economical crisis. (The economy is making less money readily available to groups that take young adults to Israel, so less people are getting to go, which means the competition to get accepted for the trip is more advanced.) So far, I had tried and failed last year (summer 2008) to go to Israel, which put me on this year's priority list, which was supposed to give me an advantage in getting access to Israel.
That doesn't seem to have happened. Instead, I've worked my ass off since last summer, making plans that were supposed to work in my favor, including telling my cousin when to register, who to register with, etc. so that we could go together and room together.
Well, that didn't work at all. Instead, she got accepted, and I got waitlisted AGAIN! I don't think that this is my fault, but truly the fault of the group I chose. You see, I never got called for my personal interview, so I sent an email asking about it. In response, I got an urgent email which stated that I needed to call in the next day, in the morning. This email also said that they'd be open from 3 am on. Problem with that? Yes there is. WHAT 3 am are they talking about? Which time zone?
Anyways, I called the next morning, at 7 am my time (Pacific Standard Time), only to get a snobby woman on the other end of the line, telling me my call was in the late afternoon, not the morning like everyone else's. Well, throw me a clue here, woman! Either way, the interview did not go very well due to her attitude, and my anger at her not for giving me the benefit of the doubt about the time issue.
At the end of the interview, this woman informed me that I'd hear back again from the group as to whether or not I was accepted by the following Sunday, which didn't happen at all. Instead, I got an email from them this time that simply said I was wait listed again several days after Sunday. I forwarded the response to my father, since I believed I'd get a better response from this group if a parent inquired as to what had happened instead of the applicant. My father did send the group an email, with these three questions:
1) I don't understand how my daughter went from being wait listed last year - to being priority this year - and being wait listed again.
2) I understand the world financial situation, yet we have a friend who didn't apply last year and who received a position this year. That doesn't seem to be fair to my daughter, does it?
3) Since we will be on the wait list for another year, do we receive interest on our deposit should we leave it with you?
They never responded to any of the questions, and I'm stuck without something fun to do this summer. There's nothing more I can do with this but wait for another chance to go to a place I've never been before.
There's another part of my summer that may be saved, though... So here's hoping for that!
This is an honest account, and I'm living it right now.
Today is Thursday, March 19, 2009. It has now been several months since I've started on my journey to plan my entire summer by myself for the first time in my life. Guess what? Life sucks. My summer plans, so far, have all failed. Miserably.
My plan, for a couple years now, has been to visit Israel. And I'm lucky enough that I have the ability to get a trip that would be mostly paid for. However, it's a lot of work to get that whole experience going, especially in light of the recent economical crisis. (The economy is making less money readily available to groups that take young adults to Israel, so less people are getting to go, which means the competition to get accepted for the trip is more advanced.) So far, I had tried and failed last year (summer 2008) to go to Israel, which put me on this year's priority list, which was supposed to give me an advantage in getting access to Israel.
That doesn't seem to have happened. Instead, I've worked my ass off since last summer, making plans that were supposed to work in my favor, including telling my cousin when to register, who to register with, etc. so that we could go together and room together.
Well, that didn't work at all. Instead, she got accepted, and I got waitlisted AGAIN! I don't think that this is my fault, but truly the fault of the group I chose. You see, I never got called for my personal interview, so I sent an email asking about it. In response, I got an urgent email which stated that I needed to call in the next day, in the morning. This email also said that they'd be open from 3 am on. Problem with that? Yes there is. WHAT 3 am are they talking about? Which time zone?
Anyways, I called the next morning, at 7 am my time (Pacific Standard Time), only to get a snobby woman on the other end of the line, telling me my call was in the late afternoon, not the morning like everyone else's. Well, throw me a clue here, woman! Either way, the interview did not go very well due to her attitude, and my anger at her not for giving me the benefit of the doubt about the time issue.
At the end of the interview, this woman informed me that I'd hear back again from the group as to whether or not I was accepted by the following Sunday, which didn't happen at all. Instead, I got an email from them this time that simply said I was wait listed again several days after Sunday. I forwarded the response to my father, since I believed I'd get a better response from this group if a parent inquired as to what had happened instead of the applicant. My father did send the group an email, with these three questions:
1) I don't understand how my daughter went from being wait listed last year - to being priority this year - and being wait listed again.
2) I understand the world financial situation, yet we have a friend who didn't apply last year and who received a position this year. That doesn't seem to be fair to my daughter, does it?
3) Since we will be on the wait list for another year, do we receive interest on our deposit should we leave it with you?
They never responded to any of the questions, and I'm stuck without something fun to do this summer. There's nothing more I can do with this but wait for another chance to go to a place I've never been before.
There's another part of my summer that may be saved, though... So here's hoping for that!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
In (sort of) Honor of Valentine's Day...
Ok, update first. My dad came home from DC yesterday. It was night. His plane was late. It took FOREVER to get to a restaurant that was still open to eat (yay for The Villa Italian!) Plus, we (the family) all got to go and see Grandma! Really great, though the best part was getting home and realizing that my dad would be in the house again.
Also, I've got more blanket squares and stuff done, but I'll post that later when I'm not trying to hide what I'm doing and making it look like homework...
However, back to the topic of today's blog...
Since it's Valentine's Day, and I'm still sadly single (and praying that my birthday wish will be granted by the fairy Steve - hey, my big 20th birthday is in 2 DAYS), I've decided to explain myself so that if anyone who knows me asks about my "Hugh Jackman Obsession," I can point them here so that they can take a look for themselves.
Basically, anyone who knows me to some degree will tell you if asked that Hugh Jackman is not only my favorite actor, I'm obsessed. However, that's not completely true. I mean, it's not like I'm crazy and will stalk him, because that's just scary and disgusting and WEIRD!
With full honesty, here's my thing with Hugh Jackman:
*He represents everything I want from my own potential mate...
*He's a complete family man...
*He is dedicated to his wife - they have been together for OVER a decade!
*He has a strong work ethic
*Plays well with children
*Is a genuinely nice guy - all who meet him only have nice things to say about him (the same goes for Deb! I wanna meet her too!)
*He is very respectful of others
*He's playful, and enjoys life
*He's stable - He's not about to go out and do drugs (which are GROSS!) or risk losing his family in any way...
Of course, there's more to this list, but that's all I can think about for now...
I just found out that one of my girlies is gonna come out and visit me in JULY! WOOHOO!!!!
Also, I've got more blanket squares and stuff done, but I'll post that later when I'm not trying to hide what I'm doing and making it look like homework...
However, back to the topic of today's blog...
Since it's Valentine's Day, and I'm still sadly single (and praying that my birthday wish will be granted by the fairy Steve - hey, my big 20th birthday is in 2 DAYS), I've decided to explain myself so that if anyone who knows me asks about my "Hugh Jackman Obsession," I can point them here so that they can take a look for themselves.
Basically, anyone who knows me to some degree will tell you if asked that Hugh Jackman is not only my favorite actor, I'm obsessed. However, that's not completely true. I mean, it's not like I'm crazy and will stalk him, because that's just scary and disgusting and WEIRD!
With full honesty, here's my thing with Hugh Jackman:
*He represents everything I want from my own potential mate...
*He's a complete family man...
*He is dedicated to his wife - they have been together for OVER a decade!
*He has a strong work ethic
*Plays well with children
*Is a genuinely nice guy - all who meet him only have nice things to say about him (the same goes for Deb! I wanna meet her too!)
*He is very respectful of others
*He's playful, and enjoys life
*He's stable - He's not about to go out and do drugs (which are GROSS!) or risk losing his family in any way...
Of course, there's more to this list, but that's all I can think about for now...
I just found out that one of my girlies is gonna come out and visit me in JULY! WOOHOO!!!!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Not the Best Day Ever...
The picture tells part of my story today... Ok, not really a story, but the telling of how crappy today was.
First, it rained today. No, not when I first got up at 6:30 this morning, but after I arrived at school... I just have no idea when exactly it started. What I do know is that by 9:15, when I left to head over to my classroom, it was pouring, and I was in a t-shirt, light pants, a light jacket without a hood, and FLIP FLOPS. Yes, those damned flip-flops. Hey, I'm a California girl all the way, and those shoes are part of the lifestyle and school dress code when you're in college out here. However, being a California girl also means that I usually take any warnings of rain with a grain of salt, especially since it does rarely rain out here...
Well, that was my loss. Since I had no idea where my classroom was (the class is History of the Middle East), my darling friend Kayla was laughing at my meager attempts to protect myself from the rain. In fact, she went so far as to say, and I quote, "It could be worse..." Now, I'm sure most of you know that saying that is NEVER good... In fact, it almost always leads to something worse happening. Yep, that would be the case today. As soon as Kayla said that, it started raining HARDER!
So, not too long after that, I'm sitting and shivering in a lecture room with the AC on, nose running like crazy with no tissues to help, praying for my teacher to just let us go so I can get home and change.
Eventually, we did finish, and by then, I thank my lucky stars that the rain had let up, so that I was able to get to my car and go home to change. After all, my next class after that one wasn't for a couple of hours.
Well, to make a long-ish story a little shorter, I managed to get through that and got back to school in better close-toed shoes and socks, with a warmer pair of pants, a raincoat, and a new sweatshirt with me... Then my next class went just fine. I got in and out without much rain damage to my person (my hair - totally another story. Moisture in the air and my hair just don't mix!), and got back to the car and home safely.
HOWEVER, when I got home... I got the mail. Waiting in the mail for me was an innocent envelope. Or so I thought. Happy almost freakin' birthday to me. That envelope, well... It was my first Jury Duty Summons. And of course it wasn't for the courts near me... Oh no. It's waaaayyyy out of town. Damn it all! This would be why I hate Zeus' guts, and I hope that Hades and Persephone blast the hell out of him!
After all this, I just hope I don't get more sick since I seem to be on the path to mending, minus the whole drinking tons of tea every day, coughing, and having a stuffy/runny nose...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Being Sick Sucks!
True story, and I'm writing this as the last of my brain cells give up on me...
Ok, last Saturday, I'd been feeling pretty under the weather... You know, the full body ache, the head that's too big for your body, sinuses that are completely CONSUMED by the pressure building on them... Yeah, all that and more. So, I do the smart thing. I go to the doctor. Well, that's great, right? WRONG! The doctor I go to does a quick check, then says that what I have could either be viral or bacterial, and if I don't feel better in a couple of days, here's a prescription to fill... Well, the prescription... Uh, how do I put this nicely? I'm IMMUNE to the damned medicine! So...
I still feel sick on Thursday, so I go back to the doctor again... And by now, I just wanna DIE I feel so horrible. I'd woken up that morning at 2 FREAKIN' AM, with a throat so sore that I couldn't swallow... The doctor I see is one who I usually have a better time with... And he again tells me that there's not much he can do, but he offers to give me a shot of some medical steroid to help me get on my feet, along with some horse-pill prescription to go with it... And me, sick as I am, accept the offer, even though I HATE shots... Well, a nurse is brought in for the shot, and guess what? It's a booster shot... So now I have to do the "lower the pants and show nothing off" game so that I can feel better...
Somehow, I succeed and win the game, hell, I didn't even notice getting the shot, and in a few minutes, I'm already feeling TONS better! Great, right? WRONG! I wake up again Friday, and my throat is still sore, but not nearly as bad. However, I've basically lost my entire voice, which I had had at the doctor's the day before...
Now, I was supposed to have plans Friday night. However, they fell through since I didn't feel like going out, especially since it was RAINING IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA and my throat hurt like the dickens... So I somehow managed to choke down the horse-pill I need to take to go with that shot I got... And I somehow let myself think that if I go to bed early, I'll be soooo much better in the morning...
NOT SO FAST! Oh no... I wake up at 7:30 this morning, throat still sore, less voice than before, and other than an achy head and stuffed sinuses and sore throat/lost voice, I'm great! So now, though, I realize that the cough that I've had (you all know that infamous "seal bark" that people have when they're really sick, right?) seems to have moved INTO my chest, since I'm now wheezing as I cough. I've also realized that the only thing that makes my throat feel better is either VERY cold string cheese or very hot tea...
How much fun is that? *sarcastic* It's absolutely NOT! Plus, when I cough, I can totally taste the sick when I cough - GROSS! Anyone know how to get over this heinous thing? I have school starting on Monday, and it's a whole new semester! I have to be there! ARGH!
Ok, last Saturday, I'd been feeling pretty under the weather... You know, the full body ache, the head that's too big for your body, sinuses that are completely CONSUMED by the pressure building on them... Yeah, all that and more. So, I do the smart thing. I go to the doctor. Well, that's great, right? WRONG! The doctor I go to does a quick check, then says that what I have could either be viral or bacterial, and if I don't feel better in a couple of days, here's a prescription to fill... Well, the prescription... Uh, how do I put this nicely? I'm IMMUNE to the damned medicine! So...
I still feel sick on Thursday, so I go back to the doctor again... And by now, I just wanna DIE I feel so horrible. I'd woken up that morning at 2 FREAKIN' AM, with a throat so sore that I couldn't swallow... The doctor I see is one who I usually have a better time with... And he again tells me that there's not much he can do, but he offers to give me a shot of some medical steroid to help me get on my feet, along with some horse-pill prescription to go with it... And me, sick as I am, accept the offer, even though I HATE shots... Well, a nurse is brought in for the shot, and guess what? It's a booster shot... So now I have to do the "lower the pants and show nothing off" game so that I can feel better...
Somehow, I succeed and win the game, hell, I didn't even notice getting the shot, and in a few minutes, I'm already feeling TONS better! Great, right? WRONG! I wake up again Friday, and my throat is still sore, but not nearly as bad. However, I've basically lost my entire voice, which I had had at the doctor's the day before...
Now, I was supposed to have plans Friday night. However, they fell through since I didn't feel like going out, especially since it was RAINING IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA and my throat hurt like the dickens... So I somehow managed to choke down the horse-pill I need to take to go with that shot I got... And I somehow let myself think that if I go to bed early, I'll be soooo much better in the morning...
NOT SO FAST! Oh no... I wake up at 7:30 this morning, throat still sore, less voice than before, and other than an achy head and stuffed sinuses and sore throat/lost voice, I'm great! So now, though, I realize that the cough that I've had (you all know that infamous "seal bark" that people have when they're really sick, right?) seems to have moved INTO my chest, since I'm now wheezing as I cough. I've also realized that the only thing that makes my throat feel better is either VERY cold string cheese or very hot tea...
How much fun is that? *sarcastic* It's absolutely NOT! Plus, when I cough, I can totally taste the sick when I cough - GROSS! Anyone know how to get over this heinous thing? I have school starting on Monday, and it's a whole new semester! I have to be there! ARGH!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I Hate Not Being Able to Find What I'm Searching For...
Well, here's a fact about me: I'm a huge reader, especially of romance novels. So long as they're not types that I've (mostly) outgrown *cough*Harlequin*cough,* I'll happily sit down and devour or redevour several of them a day. However, there can be a negative aspect to being so addicted to romances...
The complete down you get when you search for a book only to realize that it's out of print (OOP) and you can't even find a copy of it on Amazon.com or eBay. Well, that's what's happened to me over the last rereading of a book I really enjoyed.
First, the book that I do have, which is also the first book of the two. It is by Michele Lang, who is quite the talented author. The book is "Ms. Pendragon," and tells the story of Gwen, a modern woman who is the reincarnation of the Guinevere of Arthurian legend. She is being haunted by Mordred, the son of Arthur Pendragon and his half-sister Morgana. After putting a holding spell on Mordred (by sheer luck), Gwen runs down to the business of her dearest friend, who is a Wiccan priestess. While there, the one and only fabulous Merlin shows up. Basically, Gwen is sent back in time to prevent something bad from happening. There is a lot of action, and heaps of adventure, but the ending is one that simply satisfies, yet still leaves the reader wanting more. To top it off, the first chapter or two of the sequel is also included.
And THAT, is where my problems begin. I had brought the book to my Sociology 101 class the other day, to quote a line that went along with the topics being discussed that day. When I got home, I searched for the sequel, "Mists of Manhattan," only to discover that Amazon did not have any copies for sale, even used. After that, I went and searched eBay, once again with no luck, and then finally giving up and using google to do yet another search. Yet none of my searches yielded any fruit, and now I'm left hungry for more and unsatisfied. I even went to the length of going on Michele Lang's site and searching for more information, only to discover that the company that had published and owned the rights to the books had gone under, which leaves Michele with the rights to her stories. I wonder why she won't at least be her own publisher, since many authors can now go that route with POD (print on demand). It seems to me that this would be a good way to both satisfy fans and still make a profit off of older books....
But oh man oh man do I want a copy of "Mists of Manhattan!" That first "Ms. Pendragon" just got me hooked, and I'm just going crazy trying to find more about the world that Lang created!
The complete down you get when you search for a book only to realize that it's out of print (OOP) and you can't even find a copy of it on Amazon.com or eBay. Well, that's what's happened to me over the last rereading of a book I really enjoyed.
First, the book that I do have, which is also the first book of the two. It is by Michele Lang, who is quite the talented author. The book is "Ms. Pendragon," and tells the story of Gwen, a modern woman who is the reincarnation of the Guinevere of Arthurian legend. She is being haunted by Mordred, the son of Arthur Pendragon and his half-sister Morgana. After putting a holding spell on Mordred (by sheer luck), Gwen runs down to the business of her dearest friend, who is a Wiccan priestess. While there, the one and only fabulous Merlin shows up. Basically, Gwen is sent back in time to prevent something bad from happening. There is a lot of action, and heaps of adventure, but the ending is one that simply satisfies, yet still leaves the reader wanting more. To top it off, the first chapter or two of the sequel is also included.
And THAT, is where my problems begin. I had brought the book to my Sociology 101 class the other day, to quote a line that went along with the topics being discussed that day. When I got home, I searched for the sequel, "Mists of Manhattan," only to discover that Amazon did not have any copies for sale, even used. After that, I went and searched eBay, once again with no luck, and then finally giving up and using google to do yet another search. Yet none of my searches yielded any fruit, and now I'm left hungry for more and unsatisfied. I even went to the length of going on Michele Lang's site and searching for more information, only to discover that the company that had published and owned the rights to the books had gone under, which leaves Michele with the rights to her stories. I wonder why she won't at least be her own publisher, since many authors can now go that route with POD (print on demand). It seems to me that this would be a good way to both satisfy fans and still make a profit off of older books....
But oh man oh man do I want a copy of "Mists of Manhattan!" That first "Ms. Pendragon" just got me hooked, and I'm just going crazy trying to find more about the world that Lang created!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Consider This the 'Broken Heart Journal Entry'...
Somehow, I didn’t think I could hurt this much ever again. I guess I really fell for Warren in only 2 days. I’ve been checking my email every few hours, hoping beyond all hope that he’ll respond to my email. I guess I’m just stupid. Now my chest is burning with tears that I don’t want to shed over the fact that there is no response, and I’m still all alone.
I know that I’ve been told countless times that I’m rather attractive, but I’ve never felt that way. I’m a short, stubby girl who has only got big boobs going for her. I am constantly reminded that I’m heavier than I should be, to the point that I can’t even accept my body at all. I’m just an entity living in it.
And to make it worse, I can only dream of having someone special to me. There is no one, except the ones who are in my dreams, regardless of how much I want more.
My friends all have boyfriends, yet I do not, and I wish that I did more than anything else. I’m desperate beyond all reasons that I can rationalize.
Warren not responding really hurts, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because he listened to me while I talked, and I felt this warm connection to him. Maybe the reason is entirely different. For the first time in my life, I really FELT when I first saw him. He was cute, and totally not the typical kind of guy I like. He’s blond, for one. I tend to go for brunettes. Then he’s also really smart, and foreign. He spoke of things I can only dream of doing, like going overseas to a place where he’s got no family nearby. How I wish I could do that.
But there was just, this spark. My chest felt constricted when I looked at him, and not in a bad way. I was hot and cold, and my heart simultaneously sped up and slowed down when he first smiled at me.
I really considered missing the premiere of Wolverine and the X-Men just to continue to talk to him. I’m kinda glad that I didn’t, though.
When I spoke to him, I told him about my writing, and we discussed alternate universes where the opposite happens to whatever happens here. For example, I told him that if I had a chance to either go on a date or go out with my friends, but I chose the date and got into a bad car accident on the way home in this universe, then in the alternate universe I would have gone with my friends and been fine.
I started thinking about how that would affect what happened with me when I met him. If I had chosen to stay and chat instead of going to the premiere, what would have happened? If I had chosen not to go at all, then I never would have met him. Hell, I never would have had the chance to search him out as I left to say goodnight. I wonder if that was the wrong thing to do.
Maybe I scared him away the next day, by going with Jenna and letting him know that I took the time to search for him, just so I could ask for his email and tell him that I enjoyed talking to him the night before. At least I got a picture and his email, which brings me back to where I started. I’m now wondering how often he checks his email, and if I’ll ever get a response, especially since it looks like I’m not getting one today.
My heart is clenching in a bad way at the thought. I need to talk to him again. I should have asked for his phone number, or given him my email or something. But then again, if I had, maybe he would have thought less of me…
I don’t know how he feels about me, and I think that hurts the most.
I know that I’ve been told countless times that I’m rather attractive, but I’ve never felt that way. I’m a short, stubby girl who has only got big boobs going for her. I am constantly reminded that I’m heavier than I should be, to the point that I can’t even accept my body at all. I’m just an entity living in it.
And to make it worse, I can only dream of having someone special to me. There is no one, except the ones who are in my dreams, regardless of how much I want more.
My friends all have boyfriends, yet I do not, and I wish that I did more than anything else. I’m desperate beyond all reasons that I can rationalize.
Warren not responding really hurts, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because he listened to me while I talked, and I felt this warm connection to him. Maybe the reason is entirely different. For the first time in my life, I really FELT when I first saw him. He was cute, and totally not the typical kind of guy I like. He’s blond, for one. I tend to go for brunettes. Then he’s also really smart, and foreign. He spoke of things I can only dream of doing, like going overseas to a place where he’s got no family nearby. How I wish I could do that.
But there was just, this spark. My chest felt constricted when I looked at him, and not in a bad way. I was hot and cold, and my heart simultaneously sped up and slowed down when he first smiled at me.
I really considered missing the premiere of Wolverine and the X-Men just to continue to talk to him. I’m kinda glad that I didn’t, though.
When I spoke to him, I told him about my writing, and we discussed alternate universes where the opposite happens to whatever happens here. For example, I told him that if I had a chance to either go on a date or go out with my friends, but I chose the date and got into a bad car accident on the way home in this universe, then in the alternate universe I would have gone with my friends and been fine.
I started thinking about how that would affect what happened with me when I met him. If I had chosen to stay and chat instead of going to the premiere, what would have happened? If I had chosen not to go at all, then I never would have met him. Hell, I never would have had the chance to search him out as I left to say goodnight. I wonder if that was the wrong thing to do.
Maybe I scared him away the next day, by going with Jenna and letting him know that I took the time to search for him, just so I could ask for his email and tell him that I enjoyed talking to him the night before. At least I got a picture and his email, which brings me back to where I started. I’m now wondering how often he checks his email, and if I’ll ever get a response, especially since it looks like I’m not getting one today.
My heart is clenching in a bad way at the thought. I need to talk to him again. I should have asked for his phone number, or given him my email or something. But then again, if I had, maybe he would have thought less of me…
I don’t know how he feels about me, and I think that hurts the most.
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