Spring Awakening

Yesterday, I went with my family to finally see Spring Awakening. GREAT SHOW!!! Seriously, I loved it, even though it was not a happily ever after in any sense of the word, and it was made more depressing for me since the last play I saw was also really depressing (but also excellent), and that was Hart High's production of "Ur In Town" (Urinetown).

Back to Spring Awakening, though... The entire show went very smoothly, and there were lots of laughs to be had. The musical numbers kicked ass too, especially "Mama Who Bore Me," "My Junk," "I Believe," and "Totally Fucked." Each of those songs was a favorite of mine coming into the show, so seeing them well performed only made them better.

Better yet, before the show, I had a chance to check out the merchandise, and I saw the coolest shirt ever! Basically, it's the opening lines to "Totally Fucked," which has to be the BEST musical song EVER for a rock musical! My parents hated the shirt on sight, so of course I bought it! On the front of the shirt (which is awesome and black) it says, "There's a moment you know" and on the back is "You're Fucked" with the title "Spring Awakening" below that in white print surrounded by red. I can't wait to wear that shirt!

Other than that, when the show ended, my sister, her friend Amanda, and I all waited backstage to get our playbills signed by the cast. All three of us got a chance to talk to each actor and all of the leads signed the playbills. I got hugged by Kyle Riabko, who played Melchior Gabor, the male lead in the show, and Blake Bashoff, who played Moritz. (I also may or may not have pinched Kyle's über-cute butt... *grin*)

To make the night even more memorable, I saw Michelle Kwan! She had been at the show as well, and was rushing off to get herself home by way of the actor's exit! Wow, she's really short, just like me! I'd had a feeling all night that there was some celebrity there who had been watching the show with us, but for it to be Michelle Kwan.... Well, that made it almost as nice as if it had been, say, Hugh Jackman (whom I was hoping would actually be there - fuck off, I'm a dreamer and I know it!)

One final thing... At the end of the show, Kyle came out after his curtain call to ask people to donate to an acting charity, and said that if anyone gave $40 or more, they'd get a Spring Awakening poster that had been signed by all the cast. My parents were really generous, so my totally obsessed sister now has one of those to be framed and put on her wall... It couldn't have been a better night!

Consider This the 'Broken Heart Journal Entry'...

Somehow, I didn’t think I could hurt this much ever again. I guess I really fell for Warren in only 2 days. I’ve been checking my email every few hours, hoping beyond all hope that he’ll respond to my email. I guess I’m just stupid. Now my chest is burning with tears that I don’t want to shed over the fact that there is no response, and I’m still all alone.

I know that I’ve been told countless times that I’m rather attractive, but I’ve never felt that way. I’m a short, stubby girl who has only got big boobs going for her. I am constantly reminded that I’m heavier than I should be, to the point that I can’t even accept my body at all. I’m just an entity living in it.

And to make it worse, I can only dream of having someone special to me. There is no one, except the ones who are in my dreams, regardless of how much I want more.

My friends all have boyfriends, yet I do not, and I wish that I did more than anything else. I’m desperate beyond all reasons that I can rationalize.

Warren not responding really hurts, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because he listened to me while I talked, and I felt this warm connection to him. Maybe the reason is entirely different. For the first time in my life, I really FELT when I first saw him. He was cute, and totally not the typical kind of guy I like. He’s blond, for one. I tend to go for brunettes. Then he’s also really smart, and foreign. He spoke of things I can only dream of doing, like going overseas to a place where he’s got no family nearby. How I wish I could do that.

But there was just, this spark. My chest felt constricted when I looked at him, and not in a bad way. I was hot and cold, and my heart simultaneously sped up and slowed down when he first smiled at me.

I really considered missing the premiere of Wolverine and the X-Men just to continue to talk to him. I’m kinda glad that I didn’t, though.

When I spoke to him, I told him about my writing, and we discussed alternate universes where the opposite happens to whatever happens here. For example, I told him that if I had a chance to either go on a date or go out with my friends, but I chose the date and got into a bad car accident on the way home in this universe, then in the alternate universe I would have gone with my friends and been fine.

I started thinking about how that would affect what happened with me when I met him. If I had chosen to stay and chat instead of going to the premiere, what would have happened? If I had chosen not to go at all, then I never would have met him. Hell, I never would have had the chance to search him out as I left to say goodnight. I wonder if that was the wrong thing to do.

Maybe I scared him away the next day, by going with Jenna and letting him know that I took the time to search for him, just so I could ask for his email and tell him that I enjoyed talking to him the night before. At least I got a picture and his email, which brings me back to where I started. I’m now wondering how often he checks his email, and if I’ll ever get a response, especially since it looks like I’m not getting one today.

My heart is clenching in a bad way at the thought. I need to talk to him again. I should have asked for his phone number, or given him my email or something. But then again, if I had, maybe he would have thought less of me…

I don’t know how he feels about me, and I think that hurts the most.

I've Been Busy

With Comic-Con just days away, I've been busy making my own Dark-Hunter based apparel and accessories to bring with me. This is the first fully completed item: my bag.

What may be difficult to read is the names. The picture is not the best that could have been taken.

EDIT: As of August 8th, 2008, the bag is in the hands of Sherrilyn Kenyon. I gave it to her as a gift, along with a few other things. She loved it almost as much as I enjoyed giving it to her.




Starting from the top: The bag says 2008: Year of Acheron

From there, left to right:

Ryn, Cassandra, Ravyn, Talon
Takeshi, Wulf, Susan, Sunshine
Belle, Xypher, Sebastian, Sin
Rogue, Simone, Channon, Katra
Otto, Acheron, Simi, Velkan
Brynna, Savitar, Esperetta
Alexion, Nick, Wren, Dante
Dangereuse, Carl, Maggie, Pandora, Tad

Finally, the Pockets, which are divided into quarters:

Left:

Valerius Kyrian
Tabitha Amanda

Zarek Julian
Astrid Grace

Right:
Vane Fang
Bride Aimee

Bill Fury
Selena

And Under the top flaps of the pockets are:

On the Left Side:




Simi Snacks

BBQ


On the Right Side:





Souls




Again, please pardon the bad pictures.

Updated Dark-Hunter Avatars

If anyone cares to look, please comment and let me know what you think, ok?



In order to see the full image, click on it.

My Dark-Hunter Avatars

Feel free to tell me what you think of these! Be warned, though, flames are NOT accepted, and will be deleted instantly... Also, you need to click the image to see the full view.

Darren Hayes' Roxy Concert

I know that this happened almost a year ago, but as I want to keep this as fresh in my mind as I could. So, this is all about a concert I attended at the Roxy in Hollywood on June 22, 2007.

Here goes.

I got home from the concert around 11:45 last night. It was soooo incredible!!! I was taken by my (now ex)-surrogate older brother, David, who likes Darren as well. He took me out to dinner first, then drove us down to Hollywood, where we stood in line waiting for about an hour before getting in.

The concert started late, around 8:30pm, instead of 8:15, so it wasn't bad, I guess. First was the opener who was only known as Julien, who sang only 3 songs, then retired for the night. He sang a capella with only a guitar.

The second opener was this band from England, called Temposhark. I really liked the way they sounded, and they did a great cover or two, along with some incredible songs of their own. I ended up purchasing their debut CD for $10, and getting it signed by two of the band's members. I also got a hug from the lead singer, Rob, and a hug and kiss from the other member who signed the CD, Luke. It was awesome, and I look forward to more stuff from them.

Finally, there was about a 20 min. break between them and Darren, but it was totally worth it. He played the audience incredibly, and we (the audience) responded very enthusiastically.

Darren sang a couple of old Savage Garden songs (Carry On Dancing, I Don't Know You Anymore, & I Want You), then did one from Spin (Insatiable), did a couple from The Tension and The Spark (I Like the Way, Pop!ular, Unlovable, & Void), and also performed some new stuff, including Step into the Light, Who Would Have Thought?, How to Build a Time Machine, On the Verge of Something Wonderful, A Fear of Falling Under, and a couple more I can't remember. He also covered Prince's Baby I'm a Star.

How incredible... The only thing that could have made it better would have been if we weren't kicked out immediately, and if he'd come out to sign autographs. Oh well. *shrug* I'll take what I can get, until the album comes out at least.

Life and it's Little Ups and Downs

School sucks right now. I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up. Beyond that, I'm looking for a job so that I can afford a car once I get my license, along with a new laptop.

Here in the SCV, that ain't so easy.

Plus, I'm still the klutz queen.

Today, in dance, I pointed my foot too hard in a leap, and twisted my ankle that's been badly fractured twice. I think it's time to start looking for a new favorite way to exercise.

That's all the bad crap. Onto the good stuff. I saw "Deception" last Saturday night with my bff Lauren. We both thought the movie was cute, though kinda lame, and that Ewan McGregor would be a better actor if he'd get rid of his mole on his forehead. Hell, with that thing, he could become a spokesperson for Dr. Scholl's Freeze Away if he got rid of it.

Hugh Jackman, my beloved fantasy husband, was incredible. I actually believed that he was a horrible person as he played Wyatt. However, when I found out something (that I'm NOT gonna mention here) in the film, it disturbed me and made me remember being stalked while back at VHS - my first high school.

Either way, I enjoyed the movie.

Plus, I found a really cute pic of Luke (Busby from Temposhark) from his Facebook, and I nabbed it so that I can gaze adoringly at him.

Life is tough, but good.

Dreaming

I've always wondered what different dreams meant. Are they harmless or harmful? Can they really express your true desires, or are they your subconscious' way of making things understandable in a way that you forget once you wake up?

Take this for example.

I had a dream the other night where I was in a "camp" of sorts with the boy I like. Since we were both over 18, we were given a room to share. First thing that happened was that the boy (Who I shall now refer to as "L") decided to change in front of the mirrored closet that we were sharing.

Of course, I did see his penis reflected in the mirror, and then again as he turned towards me, but even though he grew excited, nothing really happened.

Then, later, after I'd put all my things away, I went to take a shower. As I stripped down, he joined me in the room adjoining the bathroom, and he pulls me flush against his body and kisses me.

Yet, as my arms wrapped around L, and I relaxed into his body, I woke up. I wasn't frustrated, but I was happy, as though I was totally loved.

Now, I've only met L in person once, and I'm sure that he doesn't really remember me except that I've spoken to him and other members in his band over the internet for a long time now.

So, my biggest question really is: Am I using my crush on L to dream about being in love, or is it possibly a "real" feeling in my gut that I may be meant to be with him?

*shrug* Maybe I'm just delusional.

What Does Your Name Mean?

What Wendy Means

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Life Rocks, When You Can Afford It...

I finally talked my dad into using his Paypal account to pre-order a DVD for me on the 2nd. Of course, it took a lot of money and begging on my part.

Y'see, this DVD is a deluxe edition, and won't be released until July 1st. However, there will only be 2,000 copies of said DVD available, and now I'm the proud future owner of one.

What DVD is this, you ask? And how much did it cost?

The DVD is called The Time Machine Tour, and it's from my favorite singer, Darren Hayes. It's from his latest tour from the CD "This Delicate Thing We've Made." If you haven't checked it out all ready, go on to iTunes and take a listen. If you like it, buy it.

Anywho, this DVD is only available in the GBP (Great British Pound) price. That means that whatever the price is in the UK, double that for the US. So, instead of paying £34.94 or so GBP, I paid $70 USD.

I'm cool with that, because it's REALLY hard to get your hands on any of his older DVDs...