Realizations

What does it mean when you look at a picture of something, and you feel your inner being clench with pain at the realization that the picture is something that can never happen to you?

Yes, it's very late right now, but I'm reclining in my bed, completely on the verge of tears because of this picture.


I looked at this, which I got from a link from Hugh Jackman's twitter, and I completely realized that my dreams and aspirations for meeting him and his wife are for naught. When am I ever going to have a chance to sit with someone of their fame, and get to ask the questions I dream of asking them? I think I've finally realized that that will never happen.

And it hurts. It hurts like hell. I may know many people in the industry, and I may even hang with them and their friends on occasion, but I'm never going to be one of them. I'm always going to be one of the many; the fans who use celebrities and the illusion that surrounds them to live out their lives in daydreams.

I thought I was stronger than that. I thought I was smarter.

I'm not.